I fell in love with a friend; but now she ignores me What Should I do ? The few possible things that could result to such a behavior from her side:
- She has some distinct wants that describes the idea of love for her.
This means that she could have a self defined meaning of love, which mixes with materialistic wants/ appearance of the image of her lover/ personality etc.
- Maybe she finds your behavior a little unacceptable.
To say – ‘I wrote her a 100 poems’, sounds acceptable. But to think for even a second that if she wanted or expected such an action is a big factor that influences your entire game. My dear friend, the statement of a girl- ‘I have always cherished you as a friend, and I can never think of you as a lover’, is bogus. It’s false, untrue, and it’s just a statement to politely kick you out. And statements such as- ‘I am a bad girl, and you are too good a guy; and I don’t want
to spoil your life’, they are all just different ways of saying that I am looking for someone better and new. So if you say such reasons are true and this is why she has been ignoring me, or is unable to recognize me as a lover; then wake up!
In your situation, you continued to write her poetry, now consider this one possibility only- What if she didn’t like it? I know it is creativity and art. But what if she is the odd one out? Your first mistake is you didn’t stop. Your second mistake is that you continued to push her to fall for you, during which your very strong forte i.e. friendship belittled so much, that for her ignoring you could transform into an option. The third thing is that I don’t have clue about this, but I believe that you are patient – which is the greatest virtue in wooing. And if you are, you wasted it in applying the same method over and over.
Now, there are three things you can do:
- strategize the whole thing. If writing her poetry is something you do out of affection and love, then don’t stop, but do it just for your own sake.
- study about the things that appeal to her in a guy; know what type of guy she wants, understand her wants. And then react.
- Focus on your friendship now. If you can, throw away your love card for as long as she wants to. Be her friend, don’t be cheap, and don’t hit on her at any and every chance you get. And as you have studied the type of qualities she expects in a guy, gradually make her show that you possess all of those.
Note: I said GRADUALLY & MAKE HER SHOW. So don’t start blabbing, or coming back to your love phase.
Always remember: Women are suckers to good apology. So don’t think that she won’t be friends with you again. Plan something out, and in your apology note, do mention that you have been stupid with this love thing; you don’t want to thrust your love on her again, it’s something you have in your heart and you will love that love forever.
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